Primal Rage (2018): Action / Adventure / Horror

Primal Rage.jpg

A young woman picks up her husband from prison but a car accident will put them up against hostile locals and a monstrous legend of the woods.

I’ll start with the good news, it’s less. Intriguing story. Not very original, but makes an interesting bigfoot logline for a film. The ones who have worked hard on this film are the makeup department’s boys and girls, making everyone’s death gory and fun.

All the rest belong to the opposite of good news. Directing, acting, and script are at best mediocre. Shame to see a decent story be somewhat crashed by the very departments that were meant to elevate it. But the story survived the crash… only to get irreparably crippled at first and then face a slow, painful, and vicious death – worse than any creature can cause – by editing. It is by far one of the worst edited films made in modern history. Absolute shame.

R.I.P. “Sheriff”.

Stay safe!

Advertisements

Da 5 Bloods (2020): Adventure / Drama / War

Da 5 Bloods

Four African American veterans return to Vietnam for the first time after the war ended to find their fallen brother and leader and claim something they consider rightfully theirs.

The opening sequence hits the nail! Right off the bat, you know exactly Spike Lee’s angle on this one. From Ali’s heroic statement to the historic footage that follows, Da 5 Bloods promises to be yet another Lee’s film way ahead of its time. But it isn’t. It most certainly is not. So what happened?

The story is quite an adventure. A sweet and sour and powerful one. The heroes are relatable and so is their background. Delroy Lindo, Clarke Peters, Norm Lewis, Isiah Whitlock Jr., and Jonathan Majors deliver powerful performances. Furthermore, Newton Thomas Sigel’s cinematography is gripping. So, again, what happened? I’ll start with the music. For a film that mocks Rambo, it surely shares a similar score that accompanies it throughout most of its moments, killing the emotion. Then, there are two major problems. The lesser problem is the editing which can make or break every film. And in this case, it is at least mediocre. So, what can be worse than mediocre editing? The script! The one too many weak subplots overshadow the main plot that has one too many gimmicks. The gold’s and body’s discovery, and the team arriving at the right place at the right time are just the tip of the iceberg. Before and after that, it just remains unreasonably and purposelessly convoluted. Shame really. Real shame. Should you decide to watch it, enjoy Lindo not holding back one bit! The best parts of the film.

Stay safe!

Fantasy Island (2020): Adventure / Fantasy / Horror

Fantasy Island.jpg

An island that has the power to grant your greatest wish, welcomes a group of people who have no idea what they signed up for.

I’ll start with the good news: I didn’t know what to expect so, you would never guess… I had no expectations! Now, for the opposite of good news: The amazing story behind Fantasy Island is inundated with nothing but American clinches, that ruin the aforementioned amazing story.

The American cliches include, but are not limited to: stereotypical characters, stereotypical punchlines, stereotypical resolutions and revelations, and stereotypical editing and redirecting. Hands down, the dramatic fantasy that stands out is Maggie Q’s (Gwen) who, by the way, is a brilliant actress and an astonishing woman. But the genres are too mixed and so are the viewer’s feelings towards everything that’s happening. It is not a disservice to the Fantasy Island (1977) series but it has nothing much to do with it either. If you want to watch a great blend of such genres, The Cabin in the Woods (2011) is what you need to watch!

A real shame as Fantasy Island stresses two important facts of life:

  • Careful what you wish for!
  • Your so-called liberties in life have a limit; where your fellow human beings’ begin…

Stay safe!

 

Bacurau (2019): Action / Adventure / Mystery

Bacurau.jpg

A pair of bikers show up in a remote Brazilian village, foreshadowing the massacre that isn’t far behind them.

What a concept! And its development is something else! Forget about the classic Hollywood narrative and character development. The built-up and the escalation have a Brazilian signature, one you haven’t seen before. The everyday people, the everyday problems, the everyday average corrupted politician… it’s all there. A brilliant antithesis to modern Hollywood films such as John Woo’s Hard Target (1993) or indie American ones such as Happy Hunting (2017).

Editing-wise, the extensive uses of swipes, dissolves, and flashbacks lead to a non-linear action and a pace that is messing with your mind; not knowing when it’s going to escalate or how it’s going to escalate. Add to that the “who is who” and what everyone is hiding and you get a mixture of Tarantino, DePalma, Carpenter, and Leone wrapped with Brazilian magic in two unforgettable hours! In a classic Hollywood narrative, every incoherence, inconsistency, and discontinuity stands out like a fart in a library. For some reason, watching a film like Bacurau, you pray for more of them.

Stay safe!

 

Jordan, cheers for this suggestion mate! Hope to see you again before you start traveling!

Charlie’s Angels (2019): Action / Adventure / Comedy

Charlie's Angels.jpg

When a young whistleblower becomes a target, the new generation of Charlie’s Angels team steps in to save her and solve a corporate conspiracy.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times… I don’t judge films, I judge their intentions. There might have been bad/horrible films which meant well but due to budgetary reasons or other unforeseen circumstances they faced issues. Not this one though! Charlie’s Angels is, unfortunately, undermining human intelligence. Despite Elizabeth Bank’s efforts to convince us that whoever doesn’t watch her film is sexist, the film itself couldn’t be more sexist. She tried to mitigate the successes of previous female-led films by saying that even them they were meant to be profusely for the male audience. Finally, even after her film flopped at the box office, and the critics ‘buried’ it (so no one finds it ever again), she was still proud of it.

I have nothing much to say about the film: Writer/producer/director/actress Banks and the rest of the producers prove that they have no knowledge of what real fighting or Krav Maga is. The same applies to spy games, corporate espionage, and the appreciation of the human (male) life – see how both men’s death is treated (excluding the T-1000 lookalike assassin). The action couldn’t be more laughable and the messages it is trying to come across are horrendous. To cut the long story short, this Charlie’s Angels rightfully earned its flop just like Ocean’s 8 (2018) did the year before. What were they thinking? That by portraying white men as villainous and stupid the film will instantly perform well? It is an embarrassment. And that’s me done about the waste of my almost two hours.

There is something else that the creators of this film have no grasp of: How it is to be stuck into a 9-5 job that you hate or do 24-hour shifts round the clock. One of the things they would have learned – which would be beneficial to the film as well – is that wherever there is no diversity, there is a problem. Have you ever been to a working environment with just women? The amount of bitching is unfathomable! Have you ever been to a working environment with only men? Plainly boring and dull! This world needs diversity and we all need each other equally to move forward. Furthermore, we all need to stop being proud of what we haven’t earned.

Elizabeth Banks is extremely talented both in front of and behind the camera and I will keep being a fan regardless. Watch her Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) and watch her in People Like Us (2012) to get an idea. It is a shame that she tried to please the masses and pretentious social media groups. Because even they didn’t care about her effort.

 

P.S. To the mindless side of Hollywood: Stop treating us like we are dumb. We know life better than you do!

Rambo: Last Blood (2019): Action / Adventure / Thriller

 

Rambo_Last Blood.jpg

When the girl who raised as his own daughter gets kidnapped by Mexican human traffickers, Rambo goes on a rampage to get her back.

Let me tell you a story about John Rambo… Behind the American propaganda, and behind the real-life wars that affected real-life people in the real-life world, Rambo, as a fictional character, is a man not so different from you and me. With desires, wants, needs, feelings, and emotions. That said, he’s a natural-born killer. In Rambo: First Blood (1982), we get to see that he’s a misled soldier who has realised he is carrying this ‘curse’ and upon running out of missions to complete, all he needs is to be left alone as the world makes no sense to him. It never did and probably never will.

Cutting to Last Blood, the ‘curse’ has not been lifted but now he has found a (mission) purpose; the daughter he never got to have. The story is solid, don’t get me wrong. The idea behind Last Blood makes it a Rambo film through and through. Its development becomes the problem though. Director Adrian Grunberg, actor/writer/producer Sylvester Stallone, and the studios should have revised and tightened the script up, deciding on its tone, rhythm, pace, and continuity. Gabrielle’s father switches, in a blink of an eye, in a way I am still scratching my beard. Human trafficker Hugo Martinez knows military combat communication (somehow) but no tactics at all, and the story itself holds back on dramatic intensity, especially surrounding deaths, and goes full throttle on brutal violence like anything you’ve seen in the previous installments. Last but not least, it feels as if the writers for a few minutes forgot who Rambo is and sent him straight to an ambush that a 5 y/o would have seen blindfolded – still scratching the beard. By the way, I totally didn’t see one event coming though (no spoilers). You can read here about the funny or comic versions of other scripts that were handed in at the time before the studios chose this one to be the one: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1206885/trivia?item=tr4768586

These are the inconsistencies I am talking about. Make sure you watch the extended R-rated version which is a lot more… juicy! Be it as it may, the action is indeed brutal and if you want to blow some steam off just put it on and hit ‘Play’. Do not try to find plot holes, it’s not productive. After all, it’s not every year the year that two major franchises that my generation grew up with come to an end – https://kgpfilmreviews.com/2020/01/16/terminator-dark-fate-2019-action-adventure-sci-fi/.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): Action / Adventure / Sci-Fi

Terminator_Dark Fate.jpg

Sarah Connor and an enhanced human from the future must fight against the most advanced Terminator ever sent back in time, protecting a young woman whose existence is the key to humanity’s fate.

Old wine, new bottle. The franchise’s sixth installment acknowledges only Terminator (1984), and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) and pretends the ones in between never happened (or ‘occurred in alternate timelines’).

The pros: The story contains – or repeats – the necessary elements from T1 and T2 making actually Dark Fate look and sound like a Terminator movie. Linda Hamilton defies age. Mackenzie Davis kicks ass. Gabriel Luna… keeps coming back. And last but not least, even though I was skeptical at first glance, Arnold Schwarzenegger always was and always will be the Terminator.

The cons: Even though the story borrows the best elements from the previous films, the script relies on T1‘s and T2‘s previous glory to stand out only to, eventually, get overshadowed by them. James Cameron and Tim Miller are both visual effects directors, leading to a VFX overuse. Which is exactly what T1 and T2 weren’t. Cameron’s and Miller’s opposite personalities clashed and that showed heavily on the editing suite – where all fights between them took place. Dark Fate, as collateral damage paid the price for it. Lastly, Natalia Reyes, an otherwise very charismatic actress, landed a role that was plainly flat. And it wasn’t her fault. Going from crying and never fired a weapon to the moronic, wannabe heroic level ‘I will stand and I will fight’ makes everyone yawn to tears – something that eight (8) writers and co-writers who read it got the goosebumps.

Filmmakers need to keep in mind that #movements are there, in their majority, for impressions and popularity. Not everyone but most people, from all over the world and every walk of life, join these movements to give meaning to their lives and express themselves, from the comfort of their couch and the safety of their house, in a way that they never could face to face. The systematic effort to please these groups keeps leading to film failures and fans’ profound disappointment. Because hashtags are for free, films aren’t.

Does it worth your time? It does. Remember, film= escapism. For just over two hours relax and forget all your problems. If anything, it will be probably the last Terminator you will ever watch.

 

Men in Black International (2019): Action / Adventure / Comedy

Men In Black_International.jpg

Men in Black, the secret government organisation with the cream of the crop agents and the advanced technology from all over the known Universe is now having a mole who threatens to destroy the Earth.

The reasons are obvious as to why it didn’t perform well. Barry Sonnenfeld, director of Men in Black I (1997), Men in Black II (2002), and Men in Black III (2012) gave MIB an appealing character to men, women, and children of all ages. F. Gary Gray and the studios decided it’s a wise choice to ‘devote’ Men in Black: International to millennials and, as a result, it was turned into something unfulfilling for everyone else – even them evidently. To be more specific:

  • Online childish slang (?) such as ‘you had one job’ and ‘that happened…’ were only put there just to have these lines heard by their favourite actors/actresses.
  • Both men and women, we acknowledge that Chris Hemsworth is attractive. Fair enough, but to make him look like he just finished a fragrance photoshoot or an underwear ad throughout the whole film kills the vibe, throws the fans of MIB off, and ultimately depreciates the franchise’s value.
  • I know it’s an action/comedy/adventure but the main hero comes to realise something he never expected about himself (no spoilers). Do we feel like he is really affected by it? No. That kills the drama. And as a whole, I didn’t really feel anything about anyone as it was all…
  • Fun! Comedy works in mysterious ways and what makes people tick varies. BUT… having a punchline for everything that happens for almost two hours creates one emotion for every situation.

Men in Black: International became a lose-lose situation for studios and audiences alike. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones (even Josh Brolin) became MIB by earning their stripes. F. Gary Gray is an amazing director. Friday (1995) and Straight Outta Compton (2015) are brilliant examples of his work but Matt Holloway’s and Art Marcum’s script didn’t do any favours to anyone. If you also want to admire Chris Hemsworth as a presence but also a thespian, watch Rush (2013), In the Heart of Sea (2015), Bad Time at the El Royale (2018), and of course, the Thor/Avengers franchise.

I’m not even gonna go into production details and I feel sorry for not having something good to say (except that Tessa Thompson is always mesmerising).

6 Underground (2019): Action / Adventure / Comedy

6 Underground.jpg

Six highly, uncommonly skilled – each in their own way – men and women have formed an anonymous team for the sole purpose of… making the world a better place.

Michael Bay does what Michael Bay does best. What do you expect from 6 Underground? Slo-mo? You got it. Slow-mo with car chases? But with also faster than you can blink cuts? You got it. Shots with choppers? You got it. From within choppers? Over the choppers? Against the sundown? With whirring blades (slo-mo of course)? Shots with men and women throwing punchlines at the brink of death, swapping to superficial drama, killers looking like they came out of underwear or fragrance ad? You. Got. It. All!

At a budget of $150 million, Netflix urges Bay to just destroy everything – preferably with explosions. Everything nice you see in the film will get destroyed. Simple as. Story-wise, the high levels of implausibility, improbability, and impossibility run through the film’s veins from the opening to the closing credits, making the Fast & Furious (2001- ) franchise look like a based-on-a-true-story. Meaning: The operations and the decisions taken throughout the operations are purely laughable, the chances of survival having suffered certain wounds are zero (much less keep running and jumping around, shooting, and kicking ass), the access to whatever they need, whenever they need it, the warp speed of getting from one country to the next… I can go on forever here! But… I have a favourite one: The brother’s speech causing the fastest revolution ever started in a film!!! The revolution started before even the speech ended. And, cinematically, guess how? Accompanied by pop, hybrid music, or whatever the hell it’s called nowadays, with lyrics calling to arms. I think I’m gonna stop here, you got the gist.

Here’s my two cents. Don’t take 6 Underground seriously for a minute. Know what you sign up for, sit down, relax, surround yourself with great company and horrible food, and enjoy the Bay style of filmmaking that makes all your problems disappear for two hours. This way, you’ll get to enjoy:

  • High octane, multiangular action sequences,
  • The destruction of everything looking fancy,
  • Entertainingly gruesome deaths,
  • Buildings and surroundings that are meant to be in one country but are shot in another,
  • Ryan Reynolds blatantly advertising his Gin,
  • Ryan Reynolds as an endless punchline machine,
  • Funnily foul language,
  • The “magnet sequence”,
  • “Rebellious” heroes and heroines who just came out of a Christian Dior and Calvin Klein photoshoot,
  • Transformers sound effects,
  • And an awesome soundtrack!

Death Ship (1980): Adventure / Horror / Mystery

Death Ship.jpg

A Nazi ghost ship rams a cruise ship, sinks it, and then comes back only to get the survivors on board and make them descent into madness.

Act I: Chessy ’70s editing, accompanied by cheesy ’70s music. Get to know who everyone is and what everyone is like. You see them having fun and then you see them sink.

Act II: Get to know the ship… and what it can do to its passengers. Or, even better, what it can make the passengers do to each other.

Act III: Standard, hiding no major surprises.

Death Ship could as well be the B-movie version of The Shining (1980), on the sea. After all, they came out the same year. Also, the same year, the same producers brought you the Terror Train (1980) – I assume you can see the connection. Anyhow, Death Ship may not be well known but I would call it the father, the instigator of every other ghost ship movie out there. So, if the three acts are as described above, do I recommend it? I do indeed. But before I say why please pay attention: You must watch it with untrained, ’80s eyes! Where a good B-movie was as entertaining. Forget the New Hollywood, the 21st century, and how the digital era advanced the filmmaking techniques (or did it?). Keep the Italian Giallo horror films in mind. Not knowing too much about films in the mid-nineties, I first watched it with my brother and we crapped our pants! Is it now outdated? It sure is, but let it trip you down the memory lane. Through an era that you were either too young or not even born. In a time where ‘Intermission’ appeared halfway through the film… Damn, I’m getting nostalgic!

Anyway, if it doesn’t scare you, let it amuse you. Cinematically, the ‘omniscient’ handheld shots are the film’s biggest asset. Crenna and Kennedy are brilliant and so is the cinematography. Last but not least, the first act’s cheesy editing becomes the second act’s conveyor of paranoia…

That one’s for you bro. Remember the scare we got that night (dog manically barking outside / grandma appearing out of nowhere)???